Ms. Snap Mabanta, Iglesia Filipina Independiente
Psalm 128:1-6
Genesis 2:18-24
Hebrews 2:9-11
Mark 10:2-16
2 Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” 5 But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,[a] 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10 Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
13 People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. 14 But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. 15 Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
I would always hear the first part of the gospel (Ver. 2-12) during weddings in church. And as expected, I would hear the minister say to the couple to stay in marriage, and keep their relationship forever, after all, it is a lifelong commitment. And the minister would follow with the words “what God has joined together, let no man put asunder”. I would find the message romantic in a way; I would feel a slight “kilig” seeing the couple’s eagerness to build a relationship beyond wedding day. But at some point, too, I would feel a little discomfort. And questions would run through my head: What if the relationship does not work out in the end? What if it becomes abusive? Should the couple stay married then?
But, alas, today I will not talk about weddings vows and the road to forever, but of life and relationships that God has wanted us to have.
“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” This question asked to Jesus by the Pharisees was both difficult and tricky. It was asked in a context where divorce was a reality and where women were left by their husbands with literally nothing when the marriage ended. Moreover, it was asked in a land ruled by Herod Antipas, known to have divorced his wife for another woman, Herodias. On other accounts, it was told that John the Baptist has been killed in jail for openly criticizing Antipas’ (anomalous) marriage to Herodias (read Mark 6:17-29). Hence, the question was posed to Jesus at a time when there was a strong public pressure for the acceptance of the legality of divorce, and whoever criticized the law risked apprehension and incarceration.
Jesus was sharp to answer the question yet by another question, “and what did Moses command you?” What he said after that was even more interesting: he claimed that because of hardness of heart, Moses wrote a divorce law for them. Jesus, at that moment, was not answering whether divorce is permissible for him or not. I believe he was recognizing the existence of the abusive kind of divorce, of how men could easily leave women, and how the most vulnerable in the relationship should be protected. During this time, it was easy to leave women behind with nothing, for other women. Women were no different to properties owned by their husbands. As such, they were dependent on men, in all aspects. Consequently, women, when left by their husbands were left in abject poverty, or when the husband die, the wife is being passed to the brother (that was supposedly to protect economically and politically woman) a cultural practice called levirate marriage which in many cultures still exists today.
Under patriarchy, this unjust social construct is considered normal. While the Old Testament acknowledged divorce, Jesus always premised his teachings with justice . Jesus must had criticized the unfair and unjust treatment to women. The prevailing system in the society that put women in the disadvantaged side, the abuse and exploitation to women were heavily permeated in the crevices of such culture.
This re-reading is not meant to advocate for or against divorce, but it is a challenge to keep marital relationships mutually life-giving, empowering, and nurturing. It feels good being in a relationship, and vowing to keep the marriage forever (why not!). But what if the relationship becomes abusive and hostile? What if it’s also the same relationship that puts the woman lower than the man? Would you keep staying in that relationship just because you believe that ‘God does not allow divorce?’
In reality, Jesus was giving protection to the vulnerable in society who struggled in legal contract when they find themselves at a huge disadvantage. And being the Jesus that he was, who never faltered to question the incessant inequalities of his time, believed that marriage is an institution of equals. It is not hard to imagine the fates of women after divorce during this time. When a woman is divorced, her economic options would be limited. Divorce during Jesus’ time would mean her destitution. Jesus telling men not to separate from their wives exposes a heartless truth in their context, that these women will be subjected to harsh and unjust fate beyond their control.
We are created in God’s image, possessing that dignity that no one should take away. Entering into a marriage, then, should not subject women to the domination of men. This is what Jesus wanted to point out to the Pharisees and to the people listening to his response.
Sadly, Christians often find themselves caught in the middle of conservative and feudal teachings that actively make women the vulnerable one still. The issue of women being accorded better access to maternal-health services through a reproductive health law remains contested in churches and continues to divide us faithful. Many choose to regard divorce as a “sin” and discussions on it as taboo; even as dialogues on it will help the cause of women empowerment immensely. In the same line of thinking, we also hastily misjudge women who are solo parents. How have we seen them in churches? Did we ever think of their economic needs and their bouts with social exclusion? Did we ever think of these women as wives left behind with a child/children to raise alone? Let me reiterate this: The text should be seen as a social criticism, not as a hard no, from Jesus.
Again, this text is not to advocate whether divorce is ethically permissible to Jesus or not. To regard this as such is missing his main point – that is, there should be equality in marital relationship, because marriage is a union of two people who vowed to commit to each other, “in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer” and such unions should only be guided with love and deep respect to whom you regard as your co-equal.
Another vulnerable character in the family are the children. At the end of the gospel, Jesus allowed the children be brought to him. This surprised his disciples. He further said, “Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it”. Similar to his recognition of the worth of women, Jesus put children in a special place right at the center of the family, the community and the entire kin-dom of God. He knew that aside from women, children were also vulnerable and often victims of oppression; and that they should be protected, too. This is another evidence of Jesus’ consistent bias across the Gospels for the vulnerable, oppressed and marginalized.
Now in understanding better where my sense of discomfort is coming from, whenever I hear a minister expound on the “forever” reading before couples and their witnesses: it is because, like any other relationships, a marriage should observe equality, mutual respect, trust, and justice. No one is in possession of the other, neither one should be dominant or submissive. A marriage should be a relationship that brings out the best of each other, and maintain their individualities as they persevere for a lasting relationship that nurtures and empowers.
Let this poem help us reflect today.
HER STORY
I am his girlfriend
He always tells me ‘I love you’ when I look gorgeous and beautiful
He tells me how should look and how to dress up
I am tired of being displayed in front of his friends
This is my story
But do you hear me?
I am a wife and a mother
Everyday, my husband goes out and works at this famous company
And me? I was told to resign from work and do the household chores and make him happy if he comes home
Now, I cannot even buy what I want without asking from him
This is my story, but do you hear me?
I am a domestic worker overseas
Yes, I was allowed to work by my husband, but far from my family
I long for his caresses and my children’s small embraces
I’m tired of being far, serving a family that is not my own
This is my story, but do you hear me?
I am an “ adulterous” woman
People almost stone me to death and look upon as a sinner
But did you care when I was crying for help as my body was taken advantage forcibly?
Where you there when we did not have food to eat?
This is my story, but, do you hear me?
Kiss me not because I am an object, but you see me attractive
Envelop my body with your arms not because I am weak
But because you love me
I am a woman, created by God, a co-equal and co-operate with man
We should be side by side,
Birthing a new humanity, with dignity and freedom!
Psalm 126: 1-6
Psalm 33:4-5, 18-20, 22
BalikTanaw Sunday Gospel Reflection 